Invisible Cities

Yesterday I started reading Calvino's « Invisible Cities ». As the title says, it is about cities. Not really invisible, but not fully real either. And about many other things too and, especially, about the human nature. Marco Polo is the narrator and, throughout the beautiful poem-like novel, describes many and different cities to the ageing Kublai Khan. All these cities have women's names and they all have human nature. I don't know if Lisbon is a woman's name in any presently or previously existing language, but I don't have any doubt that it has human nature... The Lisbon I know and I dream of isn't totally real either, but it is visible; so visible, that I can see it even when I close my eyes and simply let my imagination fly. Tonight, I don't need to close my eyes to see Lisbon; tonight, it is actually more visible if I keep my eyes wide open. That's what I'll do: I will turn off the laptop, stand up, step outside and enjoy the nice and warm evening. With nice friends, nice food, nice wine and, hopefully, nice music!

The future is ours to see

I just came back to Brussels, after five days in Portugal. Five days of rain, sometimes heavy, and temperatures close to the ones I have experienced when I was there for Christmas... But, also, five days spent with people I love and who love me; five days of great (and lots of) food; and five days off work, even though that didn't make them less busy... Five days back at home are always too few, like, anyway, any number of days are always too few. But this time, after such a long absence, it was even worse... I didn't want to be back yet! There are so many things that I wanted to do and I could not or didn't have the time to... The good thing is that I will be back on Friday! And, this time, I will be heading South, to Lisbon, which means that I will be able to see my son! But, being back to Brussels, is also nice. It isn't raining, the temperatures are quite high, and there is a lot of interesting work awaiting for me... and, fortunately, a lot of good friends too! In one year time, I will be spending my last days at the European Youth Forum... I don't know if that means that I will be organising my return to Portugal, the move to another job in Brussels or elsewhere, or simply looking for a new job. In any case, I will be facing a new challenge. I know that in one year time many things change and, therefore, I am trying not to make very strict plans; but I know that, somehow, I must start thinking of what I will do next. These five days in Portugal showed me that I could probably be back, find a job there and keep being happy; but they also showed me that prolonging my stay in Brussels wouldn't be impossible either. One of the main reasons for this is the fact that I always thought that going back to Portugal would mean being closer to my son, while staying in Brussels (or elsewhere) would mean being far away from him. Today, I am not that sure any longer... staying in Brussels doesn't necessarily mean being away from my son, and going back to Portugal doesn't necessarily mean being close to him either... The truth is that these five days in Portugal reminded me of a very simple fact: the future is what we make of it. It is about time for me to start making my future!

Back to Portugal

142 days after I left, yesterday I returned to Portugal. I had never been away for such a long time before, and I hope not to brake this record ever again. The welcome I got wasn't exactly the warmest possible: it was raining heavily in Porto and there was no one waiting for me at the airport... when I got to the hotel, in Vila Nova de Gaia, the participants of the event I am attending had left for dinner and, having to chose between watching the Eurovision Song Contest semi-finals on television and going to the movies, I decided for the latter. I went to one of these typical Portuguese shopping centres, had dinner and bought myself an entrance for the Indiana Jones' premiere. While I was strolling around the shopping centre awaiting for the session to start, I had my first evening's positive surprise: I bumped into my parents! Just like that, without previous notice, there they were, enjoying the holiday's rainy evening, under the protection of the shopping centre's ceilings. What a small and predictable country Portugal is... The second surprise was the movie itself: either I lost my cinematography analytical capacity, or the movie is really good! Super-entertaining, funny, fast and, all in all, very well done: absolutely able to live up to the standards set by the Indiana Jones' series when it comes to adventure movies! Full marks! Today, the show has been of a different sort: attending the YEPP Chairmen's Conference can be a challenge for someone who is more used to be on the other side of the political barricades... but, as it had already been the case in Stockholm last year, I enjoy it. Apart from the professional side of it (all Member Organisations deserve the same attention from the Secretary General, right?), the truth is that YEPP is made up of a lot of people that I have come to respect and trully appreciate. Furthermore, today's seminar was on a very interesting topic (The Future of Europe) and counted with very good speakers, allowing for pleasant and useful debates. This morning I skipped the visit to the Port Wine cellars and, in the afternoon, the Douro River boat trip; but now I am looking forward for the dinner and an enjoyable evening with my European centre-right friends.

Innovating

Waking-up earlier to go for a morning run was something that I hadn't done for a long time... but I did it today, and it felt good! Going to a concert on a Saturday evening is something I don't do enough... but I did it last Saturday, and it was great! Hosting a karaoke competition at my place is something I had never done before... but I did it last Sunday, and it was lots of fun! Leaving the office earlier in order to go to the movies in the evening is something I should do more often... but I did it today, and I am happy about it! Going to Portugal is something that I haven't done this year yet... but I will do it this Thursday, and I just can't think of anything else!

The Pursuit of Happiness

Fun, friends and fantastic music and books and food. If I would have to prescribe a treatment for someone in the pursuit of happiness, this is how it would look like. Fortunately I have been having plenty of these lately. Well, maybe having plenty of food is not that good… but for the rest, the more the better! Being busy at work helps not to think too much about other things ; but what really helps to boost one’s mood and allows to move on is to be surrounded by nice friends and having lots of fun ! I am lucky enough to have many friends who are more than nice and are always ready to support me when I most need them, and this past week many of them have been there for me, filling the emptiness and fighting the loneliness. And I am really grateful to all of them! On the other hand, and because there are still some moments when friends can’t be there taking care of me, reading a good book and/or listening to great music always helps. These last few days, this role has been played by Eduardo Mendoza’s « La ciudad de los prodigios » and music from The Envelopes, Monade, Chris Bathgate, Catpower and Maria João. And Vampire Weekend, whose concert I’ll be attending tonight, with a small group of friends. And, tomorrow afternoon, my neighbours will have to be tolerant, because it will be me and my friends singing... So, as many people have told me these last few days, life goes on. And, with a little help from my friends, the pursuit of happiness too.

Syros

And, by the way, Syros is great!

Changes

The end is always sad. Always empty. Always difficult to understand, difficult to accept, difficult to swallow. And yet, the end is always a new beginning… On the other hand, and at least to me, it always comes as a surprise. Don’t know if it is because I am blind or because I pretend to be blind, or simply because I am not lucky. But the surprising aspect doesn’t make it easier. And, this time, it came by phone and from far away. It should make it softer, and yet it doesn’t… What I hate the most in these occasions is the quietness that follows… this quietness that keeps us awake when we should be sleeping, and keeps us thinking of what could have been done differently when we should be moving ahead. And I also hate the loneliness… the loneliness that wears us out and makes us feel lost, like if we had just woke-up from a dream. It is commonly accepted that it is easier to leave than to be left behind; although I am not sure that this is right, the true is that I can’t avoid the feeling that there were other options… that I could have changed, if needed. Fortunately, or unfortunately, now it is time to prove that I can do it, that I can change. And that’s exactly what I’ll do. Once I manage to get myself together again.

Summer in the city!

Since I came back from Barcelona on Monday, the weather in Brussels has been so nice that it is actually hard to believe that this is still the same city known for its grey skies and permanent rainy days. Temperatures in the top twenties, blue skies, sun shining, people smiling and having lunch in the parks. Brussels gets to be nice! And yesterday I was in Paris and it was exactly the same thing! It brings memories of the long spring Lisbon days… and makes me wonder why I decided to go to Syros, in Greece, for the weekend… I mean, it’s not that I am not happy for finally going there and get to spend some time visiting a place where I have never been, enjoying the company of people I like; it’s just that the initial plan was to escape from the rainy old Brussels and not to skip the amazingly nice weather of the upcoming long weekend… Anyway, the truth is that after a short but intense working week, I will now head south, to the islands. If I survive the long flights and especially the boat-trips, I promise to bring some nice pictures and share them with you; otherwise, enjoy the sunny weekend!

Carpe Diem

Voilà, as my Flemish friends would say… One more week has gone by and so many things have happened, mostly in Barcelona. One more COMEM – short for Council of Members, one of millions of acronyms we learn throughout our Youth Forum’s life – took place and was successfully accomplished, a new opportunity for interesting political debates to take place, for important feedback on my daily work to be given and, equally important, for pleasant re-encounters with good old friends and refreshing discoveries of new ones. My list of friends on Facebook always increases a lot during and/or after a COMEM and that is a good sign, I think. But the most valuable sign for me is rather the fact of feeling well, in spite of the tiredness, when the meeting comes to its end, and being able to see the same mix of relief and happiness on the faces of my Secretariat and Bureau colleagues. This time I am especially happy for my Italian friends, who, after many years of hard work, have now attained the full membership status in the European Youth Forum for their National Youth Council ; for my Ukrainian friends who, after many years of internal fights, managed to take back their well-deserved place among the other European nations which are part of the European Youth Forum ; for my Bureau colleague and good friend Tine Radinja, who was finally given a fair chance of exposing and defending the result of his dedication and hard work in the field of Training and, in the process, gave everyone a good lesson of humbleness ; and for our President and dearest friend Bettina Schwarzmayr, who, as usual, successfully led the members through a busy and difficult agenda and received a more than deserved long applause at the end of the last COMEM of her presidential term. But, of course, I am also happy for my Catalan friends, who proved once again that one doesn’t need to be big or important to be a great host; and, last but not the least, for my amazingly competent colleagues, who, once again, made my life easy and simple, by optimally performing their tasks and being always there for anything that was needed. Special thanks to Klavdija, Mark and Pedro who, by now, understand all my facial expressions and take care of my needs and wishes even before I manage to say the words, but also to all the others who compensate their lack of experience and/or responsibilities with a tremendously generous good will, professionalism and dedication to their work. In more or less six months, the present cycle will come to its end, with the election of a new Bureau and the approval of a new Work Plan. For me, it will also be time to start focusing on the handover and looking for a new job. I don’t know if it will be easy or difficult to find one, but I don’t have any doubts that it will be almost impossible to find one in which I will meet so many wonderful people, do so many meaningful things and get so much pleasure from what I do. I always knew it, but it’s becoming ever clearer: I will miss the European Youth Forum a lot. But, in the meantime and as there is still one year to go, I will keep doing my best to enjoy my job, my colleagues, my friends and, as it happened today, the Brussels’ sun!